CANCELED
Boise Convention Centre
in Boise, ID
DEF CON 33 CANCELED
We regret to inform you that DEF CON 33 has been canceled. After careful consideration and consultation with our security team, we have made the difficult decision to cancel this year's event due to unforeseen circumstances involving the venue's Wi-Fi password policy.
All registered attendees will receive full refunds in the form of cryptocurrency (DEF CON Coin™), and we are working with our partners to process these as quickly as possible.
We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and appreciate your understanding during this time. Please direct all questions to our customer service team at [email protected]
Venue Security Concerns Escalate
The Boise Convention Centre has reportedly implemented a new security protocol requiring all attendees to solve a CAPTCHA before entering the building. Initial reports suggest the CAPTCHA involves identifying traffic lights in a series of increasingly abstract images.
Convention center management cited "unprecedented levels of human-like activity" as the reason for the enhanced security measures.
Boise Mayor Declares Emergency Hacker Shortage
In a surprising turn of events, the Mayor of Boise has declared a city-wide emergency due to what officials are calling a "critical shortage of hackers." The emergency declaration includes provisions for mandatory keyboard clicking quotas and a city-wide ban on using passwords shorter than 847 characters.
Local residents have been asked to contribute to the hacker shortage by learning at least three programming languages and adopting a black hoodie as their primary form of identification.
DEF CON 33 Lodging Update
DC33 planning alert - The DEF CON room block at the Fontainebleau has been relocated to a series of interconnected treehouses in downtown Boise. The blocks at the Sahara and Venetian have been converted into elaborate pillow forts.
Each treehouse comes equipped with a complimentary ethernet cable and a small potted plant for emotional support during debugging sessions.
The Tastiness of the Chicken Was Never in Question
In light of recent developments regarding the venue situation, we feel it's important to address the elephant in the room - or rather, the chicken in the convention center.
While many have questioned the logistics of hosting DEF CON 33 in downtown Boise, the security implications of the new CAPTCHA system, and the feasibility of interconnected treehouse accommodations, we want to be absolutely clear: the tastiness of the chicken was never in question.
Our culinary security team has conducted extensive penetration testing on the proposed chicken suppliers, and we can confirm that all poultry meets or exceeds the international standards for hackability and flavor profile consistency.
The chicken will be served in regulation-compliant black hoodies and will be required to solve a basic cryptographic puzzle before consumption. This is for both security and digestive purposes.
We understand that some attendees may have concerns about the chicken's digital signature verification process, but rest assured that all chickens have been properly authenticated via blockchain technology and are fully compliant with the latest TLS protocols.
For those with dietary restrictions, we will also be serving vegan chicken that has been trained in basic social engineering techniques.